There are three things which deflate desires in a relationship. I have read many love articles and talks from Marriage and Couple experts and most of the time, they talk of these three things. They say that they undoubtedly pushes the relationship on the brink of destruction, reality and psychologically speaking.
First of all, we know that in a relationship, it lives within the two of you but this is not always true. You are a couple but this doesn't mean that you will stop maintaining your social life. You still have to put a priority in building yourself as an individual. You must not always base your actions in what your partner thinks or cares about. Whatever he likes or prefers must not always be the basis or your everyday life.You have a free-will so prevent making yourself awfully-looking like a robot. You are the partner not some halfwit slave or servant that must do everything to suit your master's taste. Remember that there is still a ME-part in the We.
Secondly, don't shout to the world that you need your partner now, tomorrow and forevermore. I mean, yes, it is the basic of relationship but don't always show that you have this certain neediness. It looks creepy. You become an overly-attached and dynamically-obsessed partner which reality-speaking makes you less of a person in a relationship. Too clingy, you might say.It is natural to express the need for attention and affection but there is a limit so know when to show and not to show it.
Lastly, the so-called routine in the relationship is the most common destroyer.We all know that familiarity breeds contempt—our patience is much shorter, and our frustration stronger. Make time on making fun twists and adventures that both of you will enjoy. Try new things and trends. Don't let things become oh so boring.
Remember that sometimes (and sometimes, it is most of the time) that something given in excess is hazardous. Too much sugar will give you diabetes, too much salt will give you Urinary Track Infection and also, The song, Too much love will kill you by Queen, may be in line with these facts too. Make yourself a proper individual who will fit to the relationship which will eventually make the relationship move forward and stay lively.
That's it for today. Do you agree? Disagree? Have you another point you wish to bring up? Can you suggest a factor we could have explained even further? Comment below so we know what you're thinking and feeling.
I acknowledge the good purpose of this article; to make relationships maintain its spark.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the three points you presented contradict the very purpose of your article.
First, of course there is still a separate social life of the couple. They both have different circle of friends that are essential in establishing the 'me' part and the growth of an individual. But, you choose to be with a partner, you choose to be in a relationship, and being in a relationship does not mean 'me', it's always about 'we'. Yes we have free will, but your partner has it too, and if your partner would not allow you to be on a particular group of people, then maybe there is a reason behind it. The question is, would you follow free will and still establish the 'me' on your relationship, or you would rather do it to preserve the 'we' and trust in your relationship? If you choose the former, then you're selfish and you don't really care about your relationship. If you choose the latter, then you are prolonging the relationship and thus your point in not following your partner will be the reason why the relationship would not work. A healthy relationship that would last is when both are growing with each other in commitment, understanding and love.
Secondly, you need your partner. And showing that you really love her or 'shouting' that you love her will give her the assurance that no matter how long you've been together, the spark is still there and you are still proud and lucky to have her. If you want to keep her and your relationship, remind her always that you need her. Does it sound creepy? Possessive? Of course not, you love her, why would you even think of that? Your second point is from the perspective of a single who is annoyed with couple who display public affection.
Lastly, you stated the obvious. Any couple who are in a long term relationship knows that monotony will bring the relationship to the edge. It is natural to people who are in love to keep the spark going by surprising their partner.
I disagree with your article simply because I am in a long term relationship. These are not destroyers, if taken maturely with much love and apply it to your relationship, it will save both of you from breaking up. I know, it worked for me.
P.S. Magazine articles and your encounter with married couples do not constitute to "Universal'. It is always relative. Thus, it is wrong to say it is "Universal" because it does not apply to all. :)